THE FOUNDER'S DESK: Lessons from the Road Alone
three things I've learned since leaving my job and life in new york this year
by paisley piasecki, founder of sq. TWENTY-FIVE
November has been one to remember.
Since I started sq. TWENTY-FIVE this past summer, this feels like the first month where things are really coming together for us. I am glad to be back in Savannah post-Helene, and for those who came to our first-ever Fall Ball, THANK YOU. We had an awesome turnout with people who really leaned into the theme, and it gave me so much inspiration for how we can do something bigger and better next time.
This month on The Founder’s Desk I want to write about three big things I’ve learned since I left New York - and my job - this past Spring. Before coming to Savannah, I lived in New York for seven years and change while attending law school and then working at a large firm. I decided that 2024 was the year I would take stock of my life and what I wanted going forward, and I chose to leave the big city life to move to Savannah and start anew. When I tell people this, they tend to assume my job is remote and I took it with me - but no, that was left behind too and I embarked on a solo journey to find what was next. It’s been roughly 7 months - I’ve done a lot since then, and I feel like I am just now settling into my new life.
And while I haven’t worked through every intended self-development exercise just yet, I have already seen my life start to change in ways I didn’t expect. And with that change and self-discovery, I have learned some big lessons about myself, relationships, and simply…life. One of the goals with this major shift this year was to try new things and truly live, and while I haven’t been sleeping in a hammock in the middle of a jungle or going bungee jumping off a bridge, life has thrown significant tests my way that have made me re-evaluate pretty much everything. Here are three lessons that stand out to me and what I’m taking from them:
(1) No one cares how you choose to live your life.
Your friends and loved ones will care about your happiness, health, and overall presence in their lives. And they will cheer you on when you’re successful and do something worth celebrating (I hope!). But if you were to ask them if they cared about whether you worked in a coffee shop, a comfy corporate job, or Hollywood…or made a start-up and took on new hobbies…they probably wouldn’t care.
I am grateful to have attended a private elementary school, a boarding school, a well-know large college, and law school (on a full-ride scholarship), and had overall just amazing educational and professional experiences. For better or worse, however, I’ve seen in hindsight that all of my academic environments had an underlying tone of perfectionism and “expectation” of who I was and who I would become. She gets good grades? She’s going to make it to a great college. She does well in law school? She’s going to a huge NYC firm and will make partner. She lives in New York? Wow, she must love it.
Earlier this year, as I considered the next steps in my life plan, I allowed myself to reflect on the external pressure that had built up on me over the years, and chose to relieve myself of it. When I quit my job and was moving, I was often worried about what people would think of me and if I had done something drastic and frowned upon. I now exist in a place where I know people have questions and opinions, but I can’t allow it to stop my growth. Gone are the days when I would watch others do something bold or change jobs and think, “wow, I wish I knew how they did that.” And ironically enough, not many of my people have treated me differently, if at all. They have generally been thrilled to see me living my life in a better place, both geographically and spiritually. Even family members who I thought were going to absolutely lose it haven’t shown an ounce of anger. Most of what I get is a “good for you,” and non-sarcastically (!).
The point is this: If you are happy and healthy and taking care of what needs to be taken care of, no one really cares how you achieve it. It took me 29 years to learn this. So if you’re looking to change your life, shift careers, or start that side-hustle, don’t let pressure and expectation stop you. Expectation is outward - it is all about them, and nothing to do with you.
(2) As you change, your relationships may also change or fade, and sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to simply let them go.
Being an only child means I take my friendships seriously. I treat my closest like my own blood. And while it is a gift to have friends like family in my life, I have learned through friendship break-ups and change-ups that as one molds into a new life, a new pace, or new intentions…sometimes friendships change too. And that was once really hard for me. Before this year, a friendship breakdown or fade would feel highly personal and difficult. This year, as painful as a friend breakdown or fade can still be, I’ve come to realize that I can be sad about it but also feel completely confident in who I am to know that it’s best to let them go if they are clearly not working in my life anymore. There is no point of trying to force someone into your life when they are showing you that they don’t want or need to be there, for whatever reason that might be. Mel Robbins has a book coming out soon called Let Them Theory, and I’ll be thrilled to read what she says about this.
(3) “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” - Professor Albus Dumbledore
When I say September and October were rough…oh boy do I mean it. Launching sq. TWENTY-FIVE was amazing, but a lot was happening behind the scenes and then Helene hit. There were many times during those two months where I thought to myself, “Ok, what am I doing here? Why am I doing this again? I don’t think this is working…what if it never works? What if X? What if Y?…” Truth be told, I felt like they were setback months and I was just trying to figure out what the Universe was teaching me, because I didn’t understand why I had to feel like I was pushing through uphill mud.
Towards the end of that period and when I was coming back to Savannah, I started to see some light again, and in reflection I realized that I really needed a shift. I have learned through this period and throughout the past seven months that joy is truly a choice. Excluding obvious barriers to that such as clinical depression and times of devastation, joy is something you must find daily and especially when you are going through the darkest of times. You have to “remember to turn on the light” - it’s non-negotiable. And while it seems pretty simple…I can guarantee you that if you think hard about where you intentionally find and create joy in your life, you will see some loopholes. The world is too busy and chaotic for many of us to remember to do it. As for me, whether it’s the choice to go for a walk, have a drink with a friend, or cultivate gratitude and peace over frustration, it’s something I want to continue working on so that the joy grows and my overall mindset shifts even more.
I can’t believe I wrote this much just over three things - and I could go on. But for now, thank you for being here and reading, and I hope you and your loved ones have a wonderful holiday season.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Paisley Piasecki is the founder of sq. TWENTY-FIVE and a New York licensed attorney who believes in the power of good people, good marketing, and helping people do good things for their lives and businesses. Outside of managing sq. TWENTY-FIVE, she offers content creation and creative consulting services through the knowledge and experience she gained while working in media & entertainment, fashion, public relations, digital marketing, and web design for both small businesses as well as industry-leading companies. Before moving to Savannah, she practiced law in the Intellectual Property & Technology Transactions group of a prominent, global law firm in New York City, where she advised clients on intellectual property and data privacy & security matters in the context of mergers and acquisitions and other transactions. She is a graduate of New York Law School as well as Boston University, where she studied Communications with a concentration in Advertising.